My daughter had a sleepover last night. And to make a long story short, one of her friends had something in her bag that belonged to my daughter and I just happened to see it. She quickly stuffed it back down in her bag, so it wasn't an accident. I was stunned and didn't say anything. I'm wondering if she took anything else.
What can I do now? The friend just left. And I'm sitting here going over and over what I should have done. How can I fix this? How can I get my daughter's things back?
Is it possible your daughter let her borrow the item? I'd ask your daughter!
ReplyDeleteJust the way she tried to hide it quickly when it fell out her bag just made me think she took it. But, I did ask my daughter after her friend left and she said she hadn't let her borrow it.
DeleteI've got to agree with Emily - is there any chance that she is borrowing something from your daughter and they just didn't want you to know?
ReplyDeleteYou've got a couple options -
Flat out ask her. Honey, I noticed that [it looked like] Beth was borrowing your (shirt/skirt). I don't mind you and your friends borrowing clothes. Just make sure you get it back within [time frame].
Round about asking - If you recognize the piece as a favorite, you can ask your daughter if the piece needs washed as you hadn't seen her wear it in a while and it hasn't been in her laundry.
State as a mistake - Honey, it looked like "Beth" might have accidentally packed up one of your shirts with her clothes. Would you please check?
Ask "Beth's" Mom - I think Beth may have accidentally packed up one of "Mary's" shirts by accident. Any chance you've seen this shirt in her laundry?
Hope this helps somewhat!
She said she didn't let her borrow it and I wouldn't have a problem with it if she did, so I don't think that's it. I really like the suggestion of asking her mom if she's seen the item in the laundry. Thanks!
DeleteWow, I feel for you; it's annoying. I'd ask my child if she gave something out to a friend to borrow. Based on the answer, you have options. I'd go with calling the mom of the other child and telling her that my child has misplaced item x, if they could check that it wasn't packed accidentally. It gives them a way out, this time. You could also call all the mom so it appears like a legit accident.
ReplyDeleteFriends don't steel from friends. I would have a talk to my child about not doing it and that it has been done to them. Not sure whether or not I would mention the name, but I likely wouldn't invite that kid again. I haven't thought this one through yet since I don't have to. Up to you. Good luck
I'd speak to the child privately, and tell her to return the item. She will deny that she took it. Tell her if she doesn't return it, you are going to have to speak to her parents and her teacher about it. When they steal this early in life, it can set up a pattern for theiving all through life. By confronting her NOW, you may save her from a prison stint later.
ReplyDeleteI think that being honest and direct is always the best policy, though I struggle with doing it! :-) If it was my child who had stolen, I wouldn't be comfortable with another parent coaching my child about it. What if there was more to the story? I think the best option is to always discuss with the other mom. You could tell her exactly what you saw, facts only, and let her know that you don't know the whole story.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar situation happen when we were kids, and it turned out that the other child had the same shirt as mine -- I later found mine in my backpack, and my friend was actually afraid that I would think she had stolen mine. You just never know.
A non-confrontational call to mom to see if daughter accidentally took your daughter's item home (because you can't find it) should work out perfectly. Her mom will know if she took it when it turns up because you've made the call...even if you don't get the item back (which I hope you do).
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
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